When I found out I was pregnant eight years ago, I was the most excited woman in the world! I had always wanted a child, and was enthused when I realized I would bring a child into the world. My son’s father and I were good friends, but the relationship did not turn into anything greater than a friendship. So, I realized at eight months pregnant that I would be a single parent.
It would be easy for me to say that I was well-prepared and knew what being a single-parent entailed, but I would be lying to you. I had an idea of how my life might change, and was willing to take the chance for the sake of bringing a child into the world. I knew that I would provide him with as much love as I had in my heart, so what could be so hard? My son was born with no major health problems whatsoever; he had two eyes, two ears, ten fingers and ten toes. During the first few months after his birth, I was still in physical pain, but I enjoyed being a mother. My mother helped me tremendously. She knew I needed help; she was a single-parent herself (of three kids no less!), so she knew how difficult it would be. Three months later, I returned to work, and then the fun really began!
Returning to work was a difficult, but necessary, step back to normal life. I suffered with Mommy-guilt because I felt that I should be home with my son, but I could not financially afford to stay home any longer. I needed to find a baby-sitter that I trusted and knew, supply enough diapers and formula to last until I could pick him up after work, be prepared to leave work early in case my son got sick, and all of the other details associated with being a first-time/working parent.
Fast forward to today, July 2010. My son is seven years old and my life has changed tremendously. Although he was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder two years ago, he continues to grow and develop like any other child at his age. He has made me a better person through his own growth and development. For example, before my son was born, I had no one else to worry about but myself. After he was born, I had to think about someone other than myself, and consider sacrificing more than I had ever had in my life. Today, my son is priority in my life, as well as his health, his social life, his mindset, his self-esteem, his self-confidence, his ways of thinking, his spiritual advancement, his homework and/or whatever other activity takes a dominant role in his life. Through his growth, I have grown to be more patient, understanding, and accepting. Because children go through many stages, it is important that we parents be flexible in how we think, and adjust ourselves when necessary. The patience we had before parenthood might not be the patience we have after, unless you are someone who is patient by nature, so then this rule would not apply to you 😉
Being a single-parent has opened many doors for me. It has really shown me the beauty of watching a life evolve from one stage to the next and thrive in the world. It is important to note that life does not end once one becomes a parent; it only gets better.
We are interested in hearing your feedback on this topic. Feel free to share your thoughts and comments. Have a wonderful day. Chaata’ing Tammy 😉